Daily Archives: August 27, 2010

Ho Down: Your Guide to the Sex Industry!

 

When the skank gets KOed!

Hi!!  You can call me Roy Killington, and this is my Ho Down!  If you’re here, I don’t need to beat around the bush!  You wanna know every dirty, nasty little secret, tip, and tidbit you can get your grubby little hands on so that you can get the best bang for your buck with the “ladies of ill repute.”  By the end of this adventure, you’ll know what a Peek-a-boo Petey is, the best place to get one, and who will actually have the stomach (and gag reflex!) to actually accomplish this astonishing feat!  So let’s get sta –

Wait…  This isn’t where I want to be typing this…

Hi.  My name is Joshua, but y’all can call me Roy (Killington).  That’s what I looked like Senior Year of highschool, though you’ll more often than not see me as PAANDA MARINE when I post .  Bcause PANDA MARINE is quite simply awesome.  Starting on the 8th of September, I am going to be a freshmen at MSU-B planning on majoring in Human Performance (which sounds both fancy and like complete bullshit (feel free to snicker or stare at the monitor confusedly – you won’t be the first)).  I plan on living at home so that I can get out of school debt free (which seems possible) to make grad school that much easier (it won’t).  While schooling, I plan on working at Billings Hardware about 30 hours a week.  If you’d like to know, my boss TJ offered me a promotion so that I can become a section manager, so I’m moving up.  Unless things change, I want to go to grad school to get my Doctor of Physical Therapy at University of Montana in Missoula.  Then, after that, do whatever I want with my schooling and all the cash I will hopefully be raking in later.  See Europe, in live in England, go beat up hippies back east (don’t worry, hippies aren’t real people).

From this blog, I hope to try and do just a few things.  One – teach you to never trust anything I say (or should you?).  Two – tell you a bit about college schooling while working so that you seniors can either quake in your boots or beg for the end to come soon (interpret that as you will).  Tres – share some funny anecdotes and facts I find about my life and stuff (for example, I head there’s a new sex help book out there I think called Your Sex and Junk which is a HILARIOUS TITLE).  And Ee – get the hot chicks cuz they’ll think that I’m sophisticated from my blog (unless they read it, but really, what hot chicks read?  I mean, come on).  And that’s it, ya.  Pleased ta meet ya.

Also, my favorite thing about Thursday the 26th – sleeping in.   HA!

“Definitely Zombies…”

hi. i’m kelci. the title literally has nothing to do with the rest of this post, but it’s one of the first things i heard on my first day as a junior, which means i would be the one posting for the junior class. some things about myself:

  • i love music more than life itself.
  • i work at a movie theater.
  • i’m an incredibly random, kind, and funny person.
  • i will never be that confident again, probably.
  • i (used to) run cross country, until i quit about two days ago, for lack of a social situation.

i guess you can get to know me more as i post. i’m not sure how often that will be yet, since i’m just getting used to the whole divorce split custody situation.  how’s about a look at my first day of junior year, eh?

First Period: chemistry. good thing my teacher is one of the coaches of the cross country team i just quit, huh? not. it’s still fun though. lots of friends. we were told two things by him right away. first, that we are essentially nothing due to the fact that matter is only waves which aren’t matter at all but space, constantly travelling. second, that we will probably hate chemistry. looking forward to that one.

Second Period: spanish 2. oh joy, i’m one of two juniors in that entire class. plus, the teacher is the reason i dropped spanish last year. we’ll see how it goes.

Third Period: Single Survival. cooking. (sidenote– many of you have probably noticed how little i use proper capitalization. it’s called voice. also, get used to it.) we’re cooking all sorts of goodies, learning to iron a shirt, and sew a button. i don’t know anyone in my class. we’ll see.

Fourth Period: algebra 2. because i’m stupid and had to retake algebra my freshman year. i’m not stupid. it was a personal choice. i love that class. it should be oodles of fun. even though i must have been on some kind of rotten substance to have taken both algebra 2 AND chemistry as electives. hahahahaha.

second lunch!!! just like the big kids!! wait… i AM A BIG KID! 😀

fifth and sixth: american literature/ us history block class. this could be both wonderful and terrible. the teacher i have this year is very similarly different from my english teacher last year. the ways it could be terribly are far outnumbered by the ways it could rock. i’m in the same room with the same 30 people for two hours. today, right as the bell rang, “Dr. Wendt” points to a girl in the middle of the room and asks if she’s exceptional. she answers, and i quote, “as an american, yes. we have lots more freedom than anyone else.” doc w then says, “freedoms, yes. what kind?” “well, there’s freedom of speech…” “shut up.” he moves on to ask the next person if they’re exceptional. they brought up freedom of religion. he counters with the fact that principals have to tiptoe around christmastime because they can get in trouble for favoring say, christmas over kwanzaa. with one question, he provoked a two hour debate over freedom of speech. this guy is incredible. it seems like he really gets people in general. also, on the first day, he took us all to guelff-mart (school concession stand) and bought us all something to drink since it was 100 degrees outside and probably 105 inside.

random tidbits i thought of while typing…

  • i get my driver’s license very very soon.
  • if any of you have music you listen to that is very non-mainstream, please leave as many song titles in a comment as you would like. i love new music.
  • my favorite food is pizza, but i’m allergic to tomatoes.

well, that’s about all for now.

Love, Kelci

The College Perspective: The Terrifying Employee Handbook of Doom.

I’m in the final stages of the hiring process to become a lifeguard at the university recreation center. Before my first training session, my boss gave me a handbook to read in order to become familiarized with the workings of the center. I had no idea this book would end up attempting to prepare me for the end of the world.

I was honestly surprised, as I closed the back cover of the handbook, that there was nothing inside of it telling me what to do in the event that zombies attacked. You think I’m joking, but it contained everything else.

I won’t share with you all of the potential dangers the handbook addresses, but the list included such things as: radioactive material spills, discovery of a potential bomb, earthquakes (mind you, earthquakes are incredibly rare in Michigan), and numerous other threats.

I have never been so terrified to watch a pool.

My personal favorite danger the handbook referred to? The section is honestly called: What To Do If You Are Taken Hostage.

I have never worried before about being taken hostage while lifeguarding, I do now.

( : Kayla