It all began two years ago. It started off slow, but I was hooked instantly. It’s something I’m still addicted to this day. The addiction has grown immensely since those early days, and now it’s manifested into something big.
I’m talking about blogging.
I caught the blogging bug during the summer of my Sophomore year. I was blogging on MySpace back then, and my posts were random. I had made a few posts during my Freshman year, but I wasn’t hooked then. I truly began to experiment with posting my thoughts, stories, and rants on the internet during my Sophomore year. Looking back, I think of that year as my “epiphany year”; a time in my life where I began to look at the world and examine all its wrongs and try to expose them with my writing. A few people read my blog, but the message was usually ignored or temporarily praised and forgotten (I still appreciate those who were reading my blog when it began– it’s been a helluva road from MySpace to here). I also began to experiment with writing songs in a vain attempt to win a girl who still probably doesn’t even know who I am.
Most people would say then that my blogging was little more than a waste of time. After all, if I tried to expose what I perceived as wrongs in the world with my writing, and nobody really read my writing, what was the point? And what good did writing a bunch of stupid songs for a girl do if she never read them?
I would respond to those questions by saying that it has left me with something that few other people have: a written record of an important time in my life. Memories that will eventually be forgotten are recorded on that blog, and the simple text can be accessed by anyone at anytime.
Here are a few excerpts from those early posts. Enjoy.
Excerpt from “Conformity, Individualism, and Change.” (Originally posted on March 6th, 2009)
“Most individuals are looked at as “strange” in our society. And most of those same individuals do not care about how others view them. That’s why they are “individuals.” They live their lives in their own way, and choose to go against the crowd.
Then there is the wannabe individual crowds (ex. emos, goths, etc.) who pretend to be “non-conformist” and “different from everyone else”, yet everyone in their group usually wears similarly styled and colored clothing (usually black). They believe they’re trying to be different when they’re taking conformity to a new and disgusting level. While they may believe they’re expressing themselves more, they’re actually just following their own secluded crowd.
The problem with individualism in our society is that people are scared of it. They’re scared of what would happen if they did what they truly wanted to in order to make them happy. They’re afraid of what their peers would think of them. Our own insecurities tend to hold us back from being ourselves. Instead, we’d rather seek approval from others.
Currently, I’m tired of that natural need for approval behavior. I would rather be who I want to be and do what I want to then constantly worry about what will happen if I do something different then the rest of the crowd. If we never risk anything in our lives, we’re never going to gain anything.”
An excerpt from “Constructive Randomness” (Originally posted on March 28th, 2009)
“….why is it that I feel like the only semi-honest person around here? I say what I think, and people find it funny. Sure, I’m sarcastic when I say it, but most of the stuff I write is what I truly think. Does that make me crazy? Cynical? Pessimistic?
I think I’m more of a realist then an optimist or a pessimist. I view the glass as either half-full or half-empty depending on whether or not it is being filled or emptied. Is that odd?
Or the fact that I find a majority of my peers to be complete assholes. Does anyone have respect for one another anymore? Or the decency to keep a rude opinion to themselves? What the fuck gives someone the right walk up to someone and call them something terrible for no reason? What gives them the right to treat another human being like crap just because they feel like it? Who do these people think they are?
Call me crazy, insane, loopy, off my rocker, or in need of a padded room on the fifth floor, but at least admit that I’m right when I say that everyone deserves to be treated with a reasonable amount of dignity and respect .
The moral corruption that’s occurring in our society drives me crazy. It makes me extremely upset, and it drains every ounce of potential eagerness and drive out of my soul to even attempt to save this pathetic hell hole. What have we, as a collective people, become? And why?”
An excerpt from “Seven Days” (Originally posted on August 20th, 2009)
Which brings me to my next realization– I’m a junior! I only have two years left ’til I’m officially on my own, living my own life, making my own decisions, bearing the full responsibility of adulthood.
All I can think is, “Wow– I’m freakin’ old.”
Seriously, time just seems like it goes faster as we age. One second I’m walking through the doors of West as a freshman, the next I’ll be walking out as a senior.
I guess it’s just a reminder that every second I have is precious, and it ought to be spent in a way that fully utilizes its potential. It’s time to stop wasting my life on petty things that won’t mean anything in the future. It’s time to enjoy life while simultaneously being able to make it meaningful and productive. I don’t want to live my life and die just to be known as another picture in the obituary next to a paragraph of text. I want to make something out of what I have. Isn’t that what we all want though– to make an impact in the lives of others in such an astounding way that we’re remembered for the great things we did while we were alive? And perhaps while we’re at it, to inspire others to try to do the same?
But in attempting to do that, another group of questions presents itself: how? How do you manage to do something that truly incredible when you’re just one ordinary person? And what is that “something” that you’re doing? How do you discover your life’s purpose?
Obviously it’s not something that’s going to be discovered over the course of a few days, weeks, or possibly even years. For some it might be too late when they finally discover why they were placed on this place known as Earth. For others, it will be discovered early on, and they’ll plan their actions accordingly. And there are still others who will discover it sometime in-between, when they have enough time to act, but if they don’t begin to act soon, it may be too late. What they do when they discover their life’s purpose will ultimately decide how their life plays out.
Then again, who is it to say that we have only one purpose to fulfill? Perhaps we’re here for many reasons. I can’t say for sure, and perhaps no one can. That’s why life is so beautiful– no one knows all the answers. Nobody here at least…”
“Everyday is a new memory,
Waiting to happen,
Yes, it is waiting,
For you to stop hesitating,
And for you to just go,
With the flow,
Forget about your worries,
Watch the snow fall in flurries,
Drift away in the present,
Because it’s a gift,
And our small worries are in the end, just myths…
So know that…
Now, is the time,
To enjoy your life,
Wait for nothing,
That you have the chance to get,
Go with your heart,
But think with your brain,
Don’t go insane,
Thinking about potential pain,
Just act on the moment,
Because you never know when it’ll come again…”
So that’s it. I hope you enjoyed taking a trip back in time with me, and if you didn’t, then I will assure you that there probably won’t be another post with this many excerpts from old blogs again. Also, you can check out the other authors’ posts if you’re irritated with me experimenting with the style of my posts. I’m simply enjoying the liberation of a blog without topic restrictions… let me enjoy the freedom for now. 😀 You should still comment if you hate what I’m posting though– it’ll help with future content.
Thanks for checking out our blog, and my post. Have a nice day, and don’t forget to comment!