How To Impromptu Your Way To H(e double hockey sticks)

Ah. Well hello. It’s you.

I kinda sorta maybe missed you. Well just look at that. How sentimental.

Well, let me tell you a bit about my life as of late.

I have been doing quite admirably in Speech and Debate at the last two tournaments: Helena and Missoula. I compete in Original Oratory. It’s quite interesting: strange judges, hilarious judges, smart judges, young judges; the whole bit is lovely. I also love my competitors. They’re always fun.


Well, where to begin.

The competitor in the event is given a comic (political) or quote.
Give a 3-5 minute speech on said topic.
Try not to B.S. the entire thing.
Try not to offend the judge.
Try not to offend audience.
Try not to go under time.
Try not to sound like a babbling fool.

Well, I can be proud to say I only failed at the last–once–when I went on a random tangent about India, Kashmir, and Pakistan…Oh, and Plato. Yes. No, not the the stuff kinder-gardeners use. The philosopher. (In three speeches of mine…he appeared…out of no where, sadly)

Overall, I learned three things in Missoula’s tournament:

1. Grey suits are bad luck.
2. Judges mistake your name for another person’s, who is not very good in the event, hurting your scores
3. The above doesn’t matter, because you win anyway. (Yay?)
4. I was wrong about the whole, “THREE THINGS”…thing.
5. I can’t get a big head about winning my event.
6. My mom watches Glenn Beck too much.



P.S.: I don’t have anything against FOX, just the self righteous. At times. OHH, and I didn’t use correct grammar. SORRY. You know who you are. I’m talking to you. I don’t care. HA!

Isn’t it obvious I don’t care? … … … …

One response to “How To Impromptu Your Way To H(e double hockey sticks)

  1. spencer, i love you. that is all. love, kelso.

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