Well, since the new year struck, I haven’t blogged. Thus this one needed to be created.
The week back to school after break was mixed. While the events after school were perfectly lovely (went to the art museum, saw True Grit) the general school was just awful. I had a difficult time resuming my general motivation, and that hit me hard.
Unfortunately, since my body was used to a break by the end of the week it reacted poorly and hindered my Friday. Thus perpetuating me being rude and having to cancel several different events. However the sickness is at bay presently, fingers crossed it remains that way.
Saturday morning and afternoon and early evening was dominated by a speech meet, which was less than thrilling. 1st in HOI, and 4th OO, so not terrible, but just a very long day. The evening was filled with preparing a project for finals, and that was a bit tedious. However the final parts of the evening were a fascinating collection of failed bowling attempts, Scrabble, Denny’s and post it notes.
And now, after a POV meeting, I am blogging here. Really wishing I didn’t have any homework, and didn’t need to sleep. Either would be ideal. Yet, both are prevalent facts of life.
This week just highlighted the fact that I’m ready to be done with Billings. I am so tired of high school, and I am so tired of the high school mentality. I want mature conversations, and fun interactions. As college approaches around the corner, I could not be more excited. Not that I’m simply living in the future, but man the future is looking lovely at this point.
General thoughts of the week:
-What holds us back from telling people how we really feel? Why is it so difficult for us to just say, Hey I really am rather infatuated with you. Just know that. I think if we told the people we love the most how we really felt, we’d be more whole. I want that wholeness.
-Why can’t we love strangers? Dear strangers in my life: I love you. I love you because you are unique, because you smile and laugh, and cry and breathe, and you have flaws and skills and that makes you a beautiful collection of habits. We are all this wonderful web of unique and overlapping traits. Dear stranger, I love you for everything you do wrong, and everything you do right. For every hesitation or impulse my heart grows for you. I may not always agree with you. I may not always appreciate how you treat others. But my goodness, you are here. You are on this earth. And that is pretty fucking great.
-College. enough said. I find out whether I get into my number one choice on March 15th. I’m terrified.
In general, my mind is racing with thoughts on everything. I am just so inundated with wants, desires, and impulses. I want to see them all through. Here’s to hoping.
I just finished a book called Man Walks Into Room by Nicole Krauss. It had some lovely thoughts in it. So I’ll leave you with a couple.
“If being in love only made people more lonely, why would everyone want it so much?”
“In the end, we die as alone as we were born, having struggled to understand others, to make ourselves understood, but having failed in what we once imagined was possible.”
With that, I must go.