This is called “Ashlynn slowly being driven mad by college apps.”

I apologize for basically dropping off the face of the earth for the past couple…months…or so. Speech, Netflix, college applications, finals, Netflix, stressing out about college applications, work, and Netflix have all utterly consumed my life, to the point where I just feel burnt out all the time (well…I guess I can’t put Netflix in that category. But due to its mind-invading, soul-sucking nature, I’ve found myself glued to my TV screen watching entire seasons of Dexter and Arrested Development and haven’t found the willpower to pry my eyes away just yet).

As any high school senior will tell you, the college application process sucks. Completely. You think of college as something distant, something that only exists in the far off world of “young adulthood,” that magical place where you actually have to buy your own groceries and shampoo, don’t have to tell anyone where you are at four in the morning, and can choose to spend entire days attached to your laptop watching Netflix without people bothering you to unload the dishwasher. You trick yourself into thinking you have more time than you actually have before you have to start the application process and decide your future (yikes). Then before you know it, it’s the Thursday before your applications are due, and you have a speech meet on Friday and Saturday, Saturday being the deadline, and you basically have to get your entire list of applications completed and sent in by midnight Thursday night, as well as all of their supplemental essays and requirements, while still getting enough sleep to function the next day, or you’re completely screwed.

Not that this has ever happened to me. Ahem.

But it’s not just the actual process that sucks; the waiting period after you’ve finally gotten them into the admissions people is brutal. Colleges like to equip you with a method of checking the  “status” of your application. Basically this means you get to make sure the college has received everything it need to receive in order to accept or reject you. This method, instead of relieving stress, generally causes even more stress to boil up, because, surprise, surprise, all colleges don’t receive your information at the same time, and they aren’t all very good at updating your “status-checking account” very promptly, so you end up not knowing whether or not everything in each application is going to make it to every school, and you start totally freaking out and obsessively checking the websites every hour or so waiting for them to show that they have received all of your applicaiton materials so that you’ll be able to go to college and get a degree and a job and support yourself so that you don’t have to go sell yourself on the corner of Montana Avenue, or work any number of minimum-wage retail jobs.

 And I apologize for that sentence, but it was necessary to convey the terror I’m currently experiencing.

And the worst part about the whole thing is that, after going through all of that stressful mental anguish, you possibly won’t even be able to go to the college of your choice because your parents aren’t independently wealthy and might not be able to finance a private liberal arts education, which will either force you to take out a plethora of student loans that your degree in English Literature will not be able to pay off, or go to the significantly cheaper state school that you have made your high-school priority to avoid.

Blech. I’m just going to be glad when I have this all figured out and can breathe again.

Thank God I have Netflix to soothe my college woes. Muahaha.

I need an intervention.

So, I felt obliged to post something since I haven’t in a very long time, and though this was probably boring as hell to read, at least it was something.

Good night, and good luck,


P.S., Yes, I stole that line from a newscaster from the 1950s.

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