Been Forever, but I’m Back

This was infuriating enough that I’ve just got to talk about it. Please, watch the video and then understand what happened so that you get the whole story, and you might understand how he could do such a thing.

It’s kinda disturbing, but it could be a lot worse.

Just watch from 0:45 to about 1:15. Critical Mass is a group of people who ride their bikes really just to show that they are on their bikes and stop city traffic. Hundreds of them, and only to stop traffic because fuck you, they’re on their bikes. No other reason. So if you need to get to work, and these assholes have decided on the route you need to use to get these, too fucking bad. Unless you’re this guy. I mean, yeah, it’s terrible. I feel bad for the bikers – kinda. I mean’ they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They put themselves there and then asked for it more than every 14-18 female MySpace/Facebook picture ever:

MySpace Asking For It
I would have a picture from Encyclopaedia Dramatica, but it’s gone now… I miss it so much…

But still, nobody should get run over (though really, they just kinda got plowed over the tops and sides). Would I run them over? No, but that’s because I naturally am against injuring anybody or anything that isn’t trying to injure me. These people really have no unified messages other than one general, stupid thing: bicycle awareness (which in and of itself is a joke because I am totally aware that there are indeed bicycles and people like to ride them for recreational and transportation purposes, there is little you can do to make me more aware of this fact). So to show that bicycle riders have every right to share the road with vehicles, they’ll stop traffic. When any vehicle aside from a motorcycle is, for all intents and purposes, a tank that can go 60+ MILES. PER. HOUR. If you get i front of them, that’s over a ton of metal going 35 in-town going straight up your ass. The odds are not in your favor of not getting injured – I’m sure that Russian Roulette with a 9mm has better odds of not getting you seriously wounded.

Russian Roulette for Morons
It’s funny because the clip will automatically put the bullet in the chamber.

I just don’t understand the logic. What I do get is a group of smart bicyclists that call themselves Critical Manners. What do they do in response to Critical Mass? Follow bike laws. You know, by stopping at stop signs and red lights, giving proper turn signals, staying in bike lanes when available. You know, polite stuff. That would make motorists much more respectful of bikers if that happened more often. But no, fuck common sense and getting people to like us and understand us by not being antagonistic. We’ll follow real logic, like most smug, self-righteous pieces of wanna-be-hippie shit: instead of showing how the meat industry is terrible because they wash ground beef in ammonia and mix it with ligaments and cartilage to make it seem like more than it is, we’ll just go to a steak house and chain ourselves to the doors; instead of showing how the whaling industry still happens and gathering a petition to increase international control over the industry, we’ll just attack whaling ships because those people are EVIL PEOPLE, not just people doing their jobs, possibly the only ones they know how to do that pays for them and theirs. No, that would be too logical. Instead, let’s stop people from going to work, ambulances from gettin to hospitals, fire trucks from getting to fires, because we are on our bikes and deserve to be respected.

Jesus Agrees
He’s just all right with me, but still, J-dog has my back on these fucking hippies (hipsters? Fuck it, these assholes in general.)

One response to “Been Forever, but I’m Back

  1. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    mad love, bro.

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