Tag Archives: holiday shopping

Put On Your Fatpants And Ride The Bandwagon to Wal*Mart

I almost began by saying, “Merry CHRISTMAS!” Yeah. The music has finally gotten to me; it’s repulsive.

Well, yesterday I feasted on turkey and my grandma’s impeccable gravy…(I could probably live off of it alone)…as well as homemade pumpkin pie and all the trimmings. YUM. YUM. YUM.

I feel so obnoxious during the holidays. I eat, buy, buy, wrap, unwrap, give, give, and drink cocoa. The last is more or less my most favorite. Thanksgiving was as entertaining as it usually turns out to be: laughing, politics, more politics, politics on FOX News concerning the series “The Rise, Fall, and Future of Conservatism” (which my grandma LOVED watching…me too slightly) and the whole lot. The entire thing is delightful and entertaining. 🙂

BLACK FRIDAY: GRAB THE SHIRT. GRAB THE BELT. GRAB THE…TURKEY ROASTER…err…

So, Shopko, we’re selling turkey roasters? Really? Do you THINK we need that after we’ve barely finished digesting said bird? NO! Bad idea to create a fortress of them which simply serves to be yet another obstacle in the store to hurdle over.

My mother and I were the sole shoppers this morning at five A.M. where we passed Best Buy, ever so fearfully (the parking lot was FULL. FULL…minus the expected fist fights…).

We went to Shopko, American Eagle, Penny’s (ties, shirts…slippers!), and Dillards (Calvin Kline shirts…SCORE).
All of said purchasing was for Christmas–I might get to have one shirt or something, but otherwise NNNNOOOO. It’s all for Christmas, which is a good thing…Hell, I passed some Calvin Kline SUITS and just about passed out with giddiness.

SPENCER DOESN’T NEED ANOTHER SUIT. I need to keep reminding me this. I have the essentials. Well, more than the essentials, which is overly-essential. My essentialness is above average then? Huh.

Well look at that, Spencer’s tired. Hello memory foam pillow. Goodbye twentyeleven!

 

*END TRANSMISSION!* COMMAND//:1010—-From, Spencer