Tag Archives: job

The College Perspective: The Terrifying Employee Handbook of Doom.

I’m in the final stages of the hiring process to become a lifeguard at the university recreation center. Before my first training session, my boss gave me a handbook to read in order to become familiarized with the workings of the center. I had no idea this book would end up attempting to prepare me for the end of the world.

I was honestly surprised, as I closed the back cover of the handbook, that there was nothing inside of it telling me what to do in the event that zombies attacked. You think I’m joking, but it contained everything else.

I won’t share with you all of the potential dangers the handbook addresses, but the list included such things as: radioactive material spills, discovery of a potential bomb, earthquakes (mind you, earthquakes are incredibly rare in Michigan), and numerous other threats.

I have never been so terrified to watch a pool.

My personal favorite danger the handbook referred to? The section is honestly called: What To Do If You Are Taken Hostage.

I have never worried before about being taken hostage while lifeguarding, I do now.

( : Kayla